When you feel ungrounded, unsettled, or anxious – how do you respond? There are two different paths many of us take – depending on how well we have been tending to ourselves lately. 

The first path might be a nourishing one, such as going for a walk or sitting with a cup of tea. We sense what is going on and respond kindly. The second path, and I don’t know one person who hasn’t taken this one, including me, is to fill or sedate the uncomfortable feeling. We can find ourselves on this path when we feel depleted, overwhelmed by all that is happening, or a situation is really triggering. We don’t have the bandwidth to tend to ourselves with a more nourishing option.   

Food, social media, alcohol, or busying ourselves, for example, are common ways we distract or sedate ourselves, but they leave us in the same state in which we reached for them in the first place. My go-to for years was food. In my desperation to feel grounded and settled, I would nibble, nibble, and nibble more. Nibbling with hopes that the uncomfortable would go away, but it never did. We could also insert… scroll, scroll, and scroll some more (insert “tool” of sedation).

In these moments, it’s hard to pause this reaction to the uncomfortable because there is an inner drive to feel okay. I have great compassion for myself and all of us in these moments – it’s in these moments that we need tending to, deep nourishment, and loving care.  

When we find ourselves going down the path of sedation, how can we respond to ourselves differently? 

This will sound simple, but the moment you feel inner uneasiness, the kind you want to numb out to – before reaching for something to fill or sedate, try this: 

Step outside and look up at the sky or the tops of trees; if you have a tree near, lean into it as you would an elder. Slip off your shoes and put your bare feet on the earth, if possible. Take deep, slow breaths. Be with the uncomfortable feelings that you wanted to escape, not trying to change anything, but giving these feelings attention, like you would an upset child. Allowing your feelings to be felt. This is the work of the body, not the mind.

Getting outside and looking up changes your perspective and helps pause the inner narrative and reaching for something outside of yourself to “feel better.” By looking up, you are also changing your body position to one that is more upright as compared to the downward position we are in on phones and computers. While you look up, try lengthening your spine. By changing your body position and vantage point — your inner state has the opportunity to shift. If you are having a really off day, you might be stepping outside several times, but it is worth it. 

This is tending to yourself in the kindest of ways. Giving yourself attention in this way is deeply nourishing, as is Nature that you are being supported by. The more we tend to ourselves in this way, the easier it is to respond in nourishing ways rather than reaching for the option to sedate.

With these simple steps, you can break the pattern of sedation and support yourself with true nourishment, which comes from tending to how you are feeling. 

This is healing.