Two weeks until I drop my daughter off at the Air France terminal – India bound – to start her next phase of life and finish her last 2 years of high school at United World College in Mahindra, India.  She is ready, and I’m super excited for her, but it is an end of an era, and I’m feeling all the feels, including heartbreak.

Heartbreak – a part of loving and being human, can be so painful that it feels like our heart is literally breaking.  However, it is powerful medicine when not resisted and fully felt.  In truth, depending on the depth of heartbreak, we might only be able to stay with the feeling of it for moments at a time. 

But each moment we can surrender, feel, and witness our own pain, cracks begin to form in some of the unconscious heart armor built up over the years, and light has the opportunity to pour through.  So rather than shutting down in pain, we are offered the opportunity to feel and integrate, or, in a sense, “digest” the heart armor so we can experience a greater sense of connection and capacity to give and receive love.

Many of us are sending children off to become adults, supporting children in their next developmental transition, ending a relationship, or supporting someone whose time on this earth is coming to an end.  Each of these life transitions can cause heartbreak and the opportunity to chip away at heart armor no longer serving us.  

How do we allow ourselves to feel heartbreak and be transformed by it?

We do this by becoming firmly rooted within – literally being in our body.  Feeling our feet on the earth and settling into the sacred chalice of our hips.  It’s our rootedness within that helps us to feel without crumbling.

Trees are our greatest allies for reclaiming our rootedness.  A tree embodies itself fully and gently whispers to our bodies to do the same, to become rooted within. The alchemical transformation that can happen with heartbreak requires our embodiment.

We don’t have to effort to receive this medicine from a tree.  All that is required is a gentle willingness to show up fully in the brokenness.  

Begin by finding a tree that speaks to you and ask permission to join them at their base.  If you are feeling a yes, take your seat, rest your back against the tree, and allow gravity to help you sink deeper into yourself, feeling the stability of the earth rise up and meet you.   

Now rest and allow your breath to be connected.  Micheal Brown introduced me to connected breathing, a simple, powerful, and natural breath – inhale and exhale continuously without pausing.  If you notice, we often hold our breath.  Connected breathing is simply breathing in and out with focused attention.

Just be with the tree, the earth beneath you, your body, and your breath.  There is no thinking involved, as heartbreak is a matter of the heart, not the mind.  Set yourself free of stories.  Allow the rootedness of the tree to speak softly to your body, reminding you of your own rootedness.

Trees are our gentle allies in transforming heartbreak and reclaiming our rootedness within.

I will be sitting at the base of my pecan tree a lot this month – and with an appreciation for her gift of helping me stay rooted while my heart is breaking and resting in a deep knowing that all is well and as it should be.

Much love from my heart to yours.